Just A Dream?
by manahawai
Summary: Fifteen years of arguing, thirteen years of hidden emotions, and six months of lies. Loki finds himself caught between not knowing what is a dream and what is reality. Their father has sent he and Thor to Midgard so that they could try to repair their broken relationship. Follow Loki's conflicting emotions in this roller coaster of a Thorki ride.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a Thorki fanfic… like always. XD Anyways, it starts out in Loki's POV I don't know if I am going to keep it like that or what yet so bare with me on this one. The whole thing with this is that I had a dream about it and I just needed to write it.**

My brother and I always get into fights. It started when we were children but it has gotten worse over the past fifteen years. It probably has something to do with me trying to take over Midgard about thirteen years ago. I mean, I only wanted to get his and my father's attention. They were always so caught up in themselves that they never had time for me. Then I found out I was adopted and it all went to hell. Thor still tries to call me brother, but I know better now. We were never really brothers, is it strange that hearing that made my heart flutter? I mean do not get me wrong I hate my brother but not because of the reasons most people think. I hate him because he never had time for me. He wouldn't just look at me. That is all I ever wanted from him I love him with all of my heart. Anyways, that is not why I am writing this. I am writing this because lately our relationship has changed dramatically. Let me start over. Our father had sent us to live on Midgard to try and repair our broken relationship, we were stuck in a small town if either one of us left it we would be punished. It all started about six months ago we had gotten into another argument, I do not remember what it was about, but it was very heated and we had both said some very nasty things. We both stormed off into different directions I went to my room and he went to a bar.

**Six Months Earlier**

"What does he know!" I yelled at my reflection and nodded at myself. "Thor is so stupid." I huffed before changing. I pulled on a baggy t-shirt and basketball shorts. Father had forced us to act like Midgardians. He had even taken Mjolnir away from Thor. I sat up reading for a few hours trying to calm myself down. It was almost one in the morning when I had finally decided it was time to go to bed. I set the book down, turned off the light, pulled my t-shirt off, and laid in bed.

"Loki, are you still awake?" I heard his voice slur and annoying knocks on my door. I sighed before I slowly stood and made my way to the door.

"What do you want?" I asked irritated at him when I opened the door.

"Aww come on don' be li' dat." Thor pushed his way into my room. "I just wanna say I'm sorry alright?"

"You're drunk." Thor giggled.

"No I'm not."

"Look at yourself you're completely shit-faced." I said pushing him toward the mirror. He just giggled at his face while I stared at him shaking my head.

"Loki, you have pretty skin." He said turning and smiling at me with a stupid grin. He touched my face and it instantly grew hot.

"Ok, you are definitely drunk. I think it would be best if you go to bed." I said trying to push him out of my room.

"Loki, are you blushing?" He said not budging and lifting my face so he could see it better. "YOU ARE! That is so cute!"

"Sh-shut up! I am not!" I cried and my face got hotter.

"Loki." He grabbed both of my wrists with one hand and held my face with the other. "Look at me."

"Thor, you are drunk. You need to go to bed and sleep it off." I said trying to avoid eye contact. I didn't want him to see my feelings, he could always see what was on my mind when he looked into my eyes for too long.

"I know that you are blushing and that you are hiding something from me. Look into my eyes." He said not looking away from me for a moment. I hesitated before I gave in and stared into those endless blue eyes that could pierce my very soul.

"Thor, please." I begged after a few moments. I felt like he was reading my mind and saw all of my dark secrets.

"Please, what?" He asked finally looking away from my eyes but not leaving my face. His eyes took in every inch of my face.

"Just… go to bed." I forced myself to say choking down my feelings.

"Don't lie to me Loki. I know what you want." He smirked before pressing his lips to mine. I stilled for a long time. His mouth tasted and smelled of alcohol. It was a strange feeling. I couldn't bring myself to move until he pulled me closer. Then, I gave into my desire. I knew it was wrong, I did, but I couldn't stop myself from taking the thing I had craved for so many years. He ran his fingers down my torso lightly making me shiver but heating my skin where he touched me.

"Thor," I hear myself moan in a strange voice.

"I see the way you look at me, Loki. I have known how you have felt for a long time." I stare at him in shock for a long time.

"Why did you not say anything?" I cry pushing him away from me.

"I wanted to see if you would ever get the balls to tell me yourself." He stared at me for a long time slowly backing me against the wall. He grabbed my hands and held them above my head with his left hand and grabbed my crotch with his other.

"Ah." I cried as he began to stroke me. "Thor, s-stop." I shuddered as he began to pick up his pace.

"Why? This is what you want, right?" He asked pressing his body against mine, just barely touching my lips. "Is is not?" He stared into my eyes with a look that I had never seen before.

"Yes." I breathed. He smirked and turned me so that I faced the wall. He held my hands against the walls and continued to stroke me slowly picking up the pace. He ran kisses across my shoulders nipping at the back of my neck making small cries of pain and pleasure escape my lips. I felt myself building to my climax and the breath hitched in my throat.

"Mmm." Thor had heard my sharp intake. "Let go." He whispered in my ear before biting it. I shivered before I exploded on the wall and into Thor's hand.

"Ah." I cried as I came over and over in his hand. When I had finally come down from my high Thor had let go of my wrists and I was slumped on the ground while he wiped his hand clean.

"I enjoyed that, Loki." He purred before lifting me off of the ground and setting me on my bed. He tucked me in and left my room right before I fell asleep.

****The Next Morning****

I awoke with a start and looked around my room, nothing was out of place or different. I jumped out of my bed and ran to find Thor. He was sitting at the table drinking a glass of water. I ran up to him and began to hit him repeatedly.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? IF YOU KNEW WHY WOULD YOU TOY WITH ME LIKE THAT?" I screamed at him as I punched him over and over again.

"Loki! CALM DOWN! What are you talking about?!" I stared at him in disbelief.

"Y-you really do not remember." I backed away from him slowly.

"Remember what, Loki?! I just got home from the bar a little bit ago!" He yelled at me. I shook my head going over what had happened the night before for a long time before walking back to my room. Was it all just a dream? I slumped against the door shaking my head. It had to be a dream Thor is straight as anyone I have ever met he wouldn't do something like that. Ever. It was all just my hopeful wishing over the years. Yeah. Just a dream. Right?


	2. Chapter 2

Well you can guess that I refused to look at Thor for the next few days, or speak with him for that matter, and when I did I couldn't look him in the eye. All I could think of was that night. Whether it was a dream or not all of those images were seared into my mind. I finally couldn't take it any longer and decided to go and drink my sorrows away. I made my way to the closest bar without telling Thor where I was going. I sat at the bar and ordered a whiskey.

"Leave the bottle." I said to the man who stood opposite me pouring my first glass.

"Must have been a doosy." Said a familiar voice next to me. I didn't want to look up.

"You could say that." I downed the glass of whiskey. It felt like fire down my throat but I didn't mind.

"Did you lose somebody important?" She asked sitting on the stool next to mine.

"Wasn't mine to lose." I said pouring myself my next glass.

"It's been a long time." She paused and I turned to her. "Loki."

"Agent Romanov." I smirked. "How many years has it been since I last saw you?"

"At least ten." She snorted. "What brings you here? Are you going to take over the suburbs and then work your way up to the big cities?" She asked nudging him. I chuckled.

"Unfortunately not. My father has forced Thor and I to stay in this desolate town until we can 'rekindle our broken relationship'." I said with air quotes. She giggled.

"How is Thor?" I froze.

"I don't really know. We haven't spoken in a few days."

"So what's your punishment if you leave?" She asked staring at me.

"We haven't got the balls to actually try it." I said looking at her. "Plus Thor got Mjolnir taken away so he feels incomplete anyways and he took my magic away so we are basically mortals."

"That's too bad." She said I looked at her confused. "Fury sent me out looking for you two. We need your help."

"What could you possibly need our help for?" I asked as I downed my third? Fourth? I didn't know I had lost count already.

"Long story. If you ever get off of house arrest give me a call." She said handing me a card. I stared at it. I couldn't see it clearly and decided that was enough to drink for one night. I paid my tab and walked home in silence. I stared up at the stars and saw my breath in the cool air. I shoved my hands in my pocket and walked faster. When I opened the door Thor was sitting in the recliner in the living room. He took a swig of vodka and tilted his head to the side and stared at me for a while.

"Where you been?" He asked before taking another sip.

"Went to the bar. Had to get some stuff off of my mind." I explained as I slid my jacket off of my shoulders. I tried to avoid eye contact. "I saw Natasha. She was looking for us about something." I flicked the card at him and made my way to the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a shower." I called before closing and locking the door behind me. I washed my face and let the hot water run over my icy cold body for a long time. My fingers were prune like when I finally decided it was time to get out. When, I stepped out of the bath room Thor was no where to be seen so I held the towel around my waist and rushed to my bedroom. I tied the towel around my waist and walked around my room for a bit looking for my book. My hair was still dripping but I didn't mind. I couldn't find my book anywhere.

"Where is that damn book?" I said out loud as I bent down to look under my bed.

"Loki." Thor's voice invaded my silence and I made my way to the door slowly.

"What?" I said to the door not wanting to open it.

"We need to talk. Open the door. Please." Thor begged me. I stared at the door for a long time before sighing.

"Fine." I said before slowly opening the door a crack and peaking out at him. He had the vodka bottle from earlier still in hand except now it was completely empty. "What do you want?" I asked. He pushed the door open and forced his way past me into my room.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" He asked, he was trying very hard not to slur his words, but I could hear it.

"Thor, you are drunk. Can we talk about this in the morning? I am tired and I just want to read my book." I said pinching the bridge of my nose.

"No I want to talk about this now. You've been ignoring me since that night." My eyes grew wide.

"Y-you do remember!" I shouted stepping closer to him.

"Of course I remember. That was a lot of fun." He winked at me and my body instantly grew hot. "Why have you been ignoring me?"

"I was embarrassed. That morning after you said you didn't remember."

"Morning after? What are you talking about?" I stared at him confused.

"Y-you said that you were at the bar the entire night when I got up and confronted you about it." I stuttered, he looked at me in complete confusion like I was speaking a different language.

"I don't remember that." He said I gawked at him before scoffing.

"Can you just get out. I just want to read my book and go to bed." I said closing my eyes and pointing at the door. Thor walked up to me and breathed on my face. I could smell the vodka on his breath. I refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to look into those eyes that could instantly drag me in. I turned my head to the side hoping that he would leave.

"Loki." He purred in my ear before running his nose up and down my neck. I shivered at the light touch.

"P-please. Just leave." I whimpered praying that he would leave me be. He kissed me collarbone before walking past me and closing the door behind him. I slowly exhaled and opened my eyes. I quickly pulled on some shorts and jumped into my bed pulling the blanket over my head. _What is going on?! _

**There is chapter 2 I don't really know if you guys are enjoying this or not. I just felt like writing this before I forgot what was going to happen. Anyways if you could just leave a review or whatever letting me know if you like this or not that would be awesome. :) Thanks. Smooches. **


	3. Chapter 3

The next day I decided to ask Thor what he really thought of me. I was so confused about what took place the night before that I just had to ask him. He was sitting in the living room reading a book. I slowly made my way into the room and sat on the couch across from him.

"Thor?"

"Hmm?" He grunted. I exhaled sharply trying to gather my thoughts for a moment.

"Do you love me?" I finally asked him. He looked up from the book and stared at me with a strange look on his face.

"What?" He scoffed. "Of course I love you. You are my brother it is kind of in the job description." He went back to reading the book and ignored me again.

"No that's not what I am talking about. I mean, do you love me more than a brother?" He looked up at me for a moment before a disgusted grimace appeared on his face.

"No. I do not. You are my brother and that is really disgusting that you would even ask something like that!" He started yelling at me.

"I am sorry. Stop yelling. Why are you yelling at me?" I cried back.

"Why are you asking stupid questions?" I scoffed as I stood to leave. I stalked out of the house slamming the door behind me and I didn't look back.

Thor exhaled sharply, his irritation was rising. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stomped into the kitchen to make himself something to eat to get his mind off of things. A few hours later, he began to worry because Loki still hadn't returned. He began to pace back and forth looking out of the front window periodically. After another hour he finally decided it was time to go and look for him. He looked through the entire small town, looked in every department store and at the library and every single park. He was nowhere to be found. Thor finally gave up and made his way to the nearest bar to drink away his worries.

I wandered around the town a few times, it only takes a few hours to circle it one time, then I decided to go get a drink at a bar to calm me down some more. I had to choose that bar, didn't I? Out of every damn bar in that town I had to choose the same one that Thor was sitting in blubbering in the back corner. I slowly made my way to the table he was sitting at.

"Can I sit here?" I asked pointing at the chair across from him. He nodded and I sat. I took two large gulps from the beer I got before I made my way over to him. He leaned over toward the table next to us and apologized to the man who by himself.

"I have to have a serious conversation with him. We should talk again, John." John nodded before getting up to move to another table.

"What do you mean you have to have a serious conversation?" I asked before taking another large gulp.

"You know how I said that I didn't remember what happened the other night when you asked me the next morning?" I thought about how he had pushed me against the wall and took advantage of my feelings.

"I'd rather not but yes." I said after a moment.

"Well, I remember right now what I did that night but tomorrow morning I probably won't." I stared at him confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"It is like if I am a completely different person when I am drunk from when I am sober." Thor said running a finger around the lip of his cup.

"Aren't most people?" I asked skeptically. He scoffed before responding.

"Yeah, well most people who get drunk have the same feelings toward people. That feeling just gets stronger and they usually have the balls to say what they really feel unlike when they are sober."

"So, what is so different about you?" I didn't understand what he was trying to say.

"When I am sober I am straight as a line and I only think of you as a brother but when I am drunk like right now," He paused for a while. "I love you more than anyone in the world. I just want to shower you in kisses." He grabbed the side of my face and tucked my hair behind my ear. My skin grew hot where he touched.

"So, you are saying that you have a drinking induced multiple personality disorder?" I scoffed.

"Well, when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous." He smirked. I shook my head.

"So, you can only love me when you are drunk?" I said closing my eyes as I stood. I stalked out of the bar leaving Thor by himself trying to fight the tears that were burning at the back of my eyes. I mean come on, if he didn't want to deal with me he could just tell me that he didn't have to make up stupid excuses like a drinking induced personality disorder. Does he think I am stupid? I slowly walked home and locked myself in my room. I turned on the radio and listened to some classical music while I immersed myself into my book.

"Loki." Thor said jiggling the handle.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled.

"Loki, come on. Open the door. Let me explain." He knocked on the door once before trying the handle again. I turned up the volume on the radio and went back to my book. "LOKI!" He yelled over my music a little later when my book had just started to get good.

"What!?" I yelled back turning the music down and making my way to the door.

"Just listen." I sighed and waited for him to continue. "I'm not saying that I will only be able to love you when I am drunk I am just saying that it is going to take sober Thor a little bit of coaxing to get where I am right now. A lot a patience too, but I think if you really try we can get him to love you like I do." I stared at the door for a long time before giving in. I unlocked the door slowly and opened it just a crack to look up at him. He smiled a sincere smile and my icy heart melted.

"Don't think I am not still mad at you." I said as he pushed his way into the room. He grabbed my hip with his right hand pulling my body close to his and my face with his left. He pulled my lips to his and I instantly gave into the electricity that was pulsing between us.

**Sorry for the short chapter and long wait, I've been getting ready for school and trying to figure out where I am going with this story. XD Well I think this is going to be a shorter story only about 5-7 chapters. I haven't decided yet. We will see I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are always welcome, lovelies. Smooches. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know when we fell asleep, we just did, in each other's arms. It was wonderful. I never had anything ever feel so right. Sadly, the morning didn't really go according to plan.

Thor opened his eyes and stared at the black hair that was in his face. He leaned close pressing his nose against her hair and inhaled deeply. She smelled delicious and slightly familiar. He couldn't put his finger on how he knew the scent but he did and it smelled wonderful. Thor thought back to the night before, he didn't remember meeting a girl or even going home with one. He looked around the room and realized he was in Loki's.

_Shit. Loki is going to be pissed. _Thor thought to himself before realizing he didn't really care because he was enjoying this girl's company. He rolled back over and wrapped an arm around the girl and sniffed her hair again. He ran his fingers up her stomach, he was surprised at how sculpted her abs were. He continued to run his fingers up her body, she shivered under his touch obviously she was awake now. He chuckled evilly.

"Thor. Stop." He heard Loki say in a groggy voice and a look of horror instantly appeared on his face. He jumped out of the bed as Loki rolled over and pulled the blanket over his shoulder.

"Loki, what the HELL is going on?!" Thor screamed.

I woke up to Thor screaming in my ear. I looked around the room and saw Thor staring at me with a look of horror. It took me a moment to realize that this was sober Thor and I had a lot of explaining to do.

"Thor, calm down! Nothing happened! You were drunk and you came into my room and you ended up falling asleep in my bed. I didn't want to sleep in your bed because I knew that you would get mad at me so I just slept in here with you. I thought that you would have already got up by now." I tried my hardest to explain the half truth to him. I mean he was drunk when he came in but we had decided together that we would sleep together and nothing did happen. We just laid together cuddling the entire night.

"You mean to tell me that you let me sleep in here with you drunk off of my ass?" He was pissed and I could tell that this was going to be a long day if not day then a very long week until he calmed down.

"Calm down." I said getting out of the bed finally, I pulled the shirt that was sitting on the chair over my head.

"How in the hell am I supposed to calm down from something like that?" He scoffed.

"Fine. Punch me in the face. Whatever makes you feel better." I said rolling my eyes and looking at him. Drunk Thor was right this was going to be a very long and trying time.

"No. I am not going to punch you right now. I shall get you when you least expect it!" He said with a huff as he stormed out of the room. I stared at the door that was slammed in my face.

"Well then." I said in the empty room. We didn't talk for a few days after that. I didn't really blame him, he woke up in his brother's bed, cuddling him, and practically nude. He was fuming I could practically see the steam coming from his ears every time I looked at him. He avoided eye contact with me and he could barely stand to be in the same room with me for more than five minutes at a time. It was beginning to irritate me after the fifth day and I decided it was time to do something about it.

"THOR!" I yelled after I had trapped him in a corner. We were going to have a conversation and I was making sure of it.

"WHAT!" He screamed back at me not looking me in the face. I exhaled sharply showing my irritation finally.

"Look, I know that you are mad about the whole sleeping together thing but you need to get over it nothing happened!" I yelled slamming my fist on the wall next to his ear. He closed his eyes before turning toward me and opening them again he finally looked me directly in the eyes. Gods, those eyes make me so hot. It took all of my strength not to pin him against that wall and have my way with him.

"That is not why I am irritated, brother." He sighed finally after a long stare down. I tilted my head to the side and stared at him, confused.

"Then, why are you irritated?" I asked him when he didn't answer my confused stare.

"I do not know!" He yelled looking away from me again. I hit the wall with my fist again.

"Look at me!" He hesitated for a moment before looking me in the eyes again. "Tell me why you are mad, brother." He kept avoiding the subject and just stared at me with those icy, blue eyes. The look in his eyes made my anger burn fiercely and I finally gave into my anger. I grabbed his wrists and held them above his head with one hand and held his chin with my other.

"W-what are you doing?" He asked me in jagged breaths. I pressed my lips against him making him squirm. He tried his hardest to escape my grasp but I was not going to let him go. When I finally pulled away from his lips we were both out of breath he stared at me with a strange look in his eye. It wasn't exactly anger but it wasn't love either. He looked genuinely curious, like how a kitten looks at a grasshopper for the first time. It seemed like he wanted more and I was ready to give it to him.

"Is that why you are mad?" I stared at him with an evil grin spreading across my face. "You enjoyed waking up next to me. Even though you thought I was a girl when you found out it was me you wanted to come back in the bed. You have feelings for me!" He scoffed and I held his chin in my left hand making him look me in the eye.

"No."

"Really?" I scoffed. "You don't want me to kiss you again, then? You don't want me to keep you in this position?" I ran my lips up and down his neck. He tilted his head willingly after a moment. This was just like the first time he came into my room drunk except our roles were reversed.

"Loki." His voice was shaky and I knew I had him.

**Let me know what you think. I am getting close to the end of this one. Thanks for sticking with me, lovelies. Smooches. :)**


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